An Open Letter to Barack Obama (Bin Laden)

(there should be a giant question mark at the end of "progress")

Dear Mr. President,

What a colossal let down you have been.  It's hard to fathom how you could be more disappointing almost a year and half into your "new vision" thing for America.  You have done almost nothing constructive.  Yes, we all know you inherited a mess from George Dubya who almost single-handedly destroyed America's position and legacy in the world.  He didn't quite get it totally done though and now it seems you intend to finish the job.  What a massive joke you have been!  Here's a laundry list of things you haven't done so far that could have changed your legacy for the better and fulfilled some of your pre-election promises:

1.  Take the BP spill as a serious threat to national security from DAY ONE.  You didn't.  This could be the mother of all economic storms and your lack of knowledge about, presumably, most economic-based issues is showing.  I know, it's more fun vacationing in Hawaii but you can't wait a single day to address issues like this.  Not one.  This is your job.

2.  Begin in earnest pulling out of Iraq.  Now.  You know full well Bush started an absolute disaster there economically as well politically.  It's not a winnable war.  In fact, it's not a war on anything.  It's a smokescreen.  We're just protecting oil. 

3.  Reverse the bullshit bailout ideology that is gripping American politics like a cancer.  Fucking A, how un-American is this idea of too big to fail?  Yet, you fell right in line with the corruption and this blatantly un-American policy of making the rich motherfuckers who helped make this mess whole at all costs.  This is your biggest failure to date, Obama.  BP might eclipse it though.  Doing the right thing by the American taxpayer?  You sure haven't.

4.  You could have immediately cut taxes for small business owners to spur job creation.  You didn't.

5.  You could have worked on reforming healthcare by actually doing some research first then drafting a resolution.  Instead, you took a sledgehammer and just started swinging wildly.

6.  Which leads me to another blunder:  letting Congress continue to draft laws that they have absolutely no understanding of.  They are like fucking children.  Basically, you could have begun dismantling a runaway Congress that no longer votes according to the whims of those who elected them (the People!).  Epic fail.  You're just like everyone else, no different.  Letting the monster machine and its voracious appetite for control continue on unabated. 

7.  Corporate and financial reform.  You could have immediately changed things by pushing for reinstatement of Glass-Steagall.  Would have solved a lot and quickly.  But, no, like Clinton and Bush before you, you are really all about protecting massive corporations.  Fuck the people.  They are born to be slaves, right?

Bonus gripe:  Are you even American-born?  I'm not much for conspiracies but, really, can you prove it?

I could keep going here but what's the point?  You suck.  Your performance is a joke.  You will last one term but America will be buried by then.  But what do you care?  You'll be making $50k per speech then.  You'll have your $10 million book deal.  You'l be doing secret deals with captains of industry and Hollywood.  Yeah, you're part of the fucking problem, Mr. President.  That's the problem.  And this is why you are and will continue to be an epic failure and a slap in the face of true Democracy...

Classic Music Review: OPERATION: MINDCRIME by Queensryche

Released in 1988, QR's magnum opus concept album, OPERATION: MINDCRIME, has been finding its way into my playlist quite a bit lately.  According to the metal fans of the world, as documented in Martin Popoff's fun TOP 500 METAL ALBUMS OF ALL TIME book, MINDCRIME is the #6 heavy metal album of all time.  I don't think I could argue against that claim.  Whether it's #3, #23 or #103, I don't know, that's a preference thing.  What I do know is that it personally is in my top five or so and unquestionably a great, great album by any standard, metal or otherwise.

I still recall buying the CD back in the spring of '88 and being instantly blown away by the scope, ambition and musicianship of the album.  1988 was a banner year for heavy metal and concept albums what with Metallica releasing ...AND JUSTICE FOR ALL a little later that year.  Being, um, in my early teens at the time and having just picked up the guitar a few years earlier, these albums were awe-inspiring displays of not only killer metal songwriting but musical chops as well.  I can remember air-guitaring to "Speak"...that killer rapid-fire arpeggio riff which sounded unbelievably futuristic with the gated electro-sizzle production/mix.  At this point, the production is considered a little frigid and blocky although it's hard to imagine the album sounding any different so not sure you can really call it a flaw at this point.  Geez, so many great riffs that are now considered classics..."Operation: Mindcrime", "Speak", "Eyes Of A Stranger", "I Don't Believe In Love", and the grand-daddy of them all, possibly one of my top three or four guitar songs ever, "Breaking The Silence".  Awesome intro, pick slide, lyrics, harmony, chorus...just one bad-ass song all the way around.  The opening verse still resonates even after all these years: 

"They told me to run by just how far

can I go wearing the black mask of fear?

The hate in my eyes always give me away

the tension building slowly.

Now I've lost everything I had in you

Nothing we shared means a thing

without you close to me

I can't live without you!"

Those lyrics, as delivered by a soaring Geoff Tate in his prime, coupled with the cyber-electric sustained awesomeness of DeGarmo and Wilton on guitars, always conjures images of Ridley Scott's BLADE RUNNER for me.  If there's any song that could sonically capture the mood of that film, it's "Breaking The Silence".  Man, just so many great songs, riffs, solos...everything.  Looking at the band's catalog after MINDCRIME it's hard to fathom where the band lost it so quickly.  EMPIRE is a great pop metal record and even PROMISED LAND has its moments...but, damn, everything post-1994 just blows when compared to the earlier work.  I guess talent and inspiration can simply run empty.  Ironically, the same fate would befall Metallica to an even greater degree.

Sound quality/production has always been a stickly issue with this album but, again, personally, I believe the mix lends itself well to the story about alienation, corruption, betryal, etc.  But it can sound a bit blocky and opaque, especially considering that CD mastering didn't really mature until the early 90's.  I bought the remastered version in '04 and feel the improvement in quality is pretty substantial with considerably more "air" and deeper blacks being the hallmarks.  On the downside, you can hear obvious distortion in the mix where levels are pushed too far into the red.  It's only noticeable in a few spots though.  Overall the resmastered version is definitely worth the extra coin.  Of course, given the MP3 times we live in, it's a moot point now.

The sum of the matter is that QR produced what is very arguably the greatest concept album of all time and definitely one of the best metal albums ever.  An indispensible classic.

Rating: 10/10

Summer Movie Season: Part One

So another apparently shitty summer movie season is upon us.  The trend continues:  fewer films, bigger budgets, less creativity, less fun, more $ for a ticket, small loans now being offered at the concession stands just to get a fucking popcorn and drink, etc.  Yes, the popcorn summer movie season is alive and well! 

I'll be reviewing the flicks I see as I see them in small batches.  So let's get started.  Oh yeah, for the record I think the best summer for movies, ever, is like 1989.  Or maybe 1992.  I remember, I was there.  They were awesome.  1993 was pretty good too.  Summer movie seasons started getting consistently shitty around 1999 (thanks, George Lucas and your unbelievably disappointing THE PHANTOM MENACE!!!). 

First up, IRON MAN 2 aka THE REVENGE OF HARLEY DAVIDSON.  Don't worry if you don't get...it's a very obscure reference and a pretty unfunny stab at humor.  So, yeah, haven't seen it yet.  I've heard it's pretty shitty though.  The best thing I've heard about it is that the second hour picks up a bit.  So basically the first hour is a snorefest...how the fuck did they manage that?  The first IRON MAN was downright awesome as far as superhero films go with only perhaps THE DARK KNIGHT and the first SPIDER-MAN eclipsing it.  Neither is as good as SUPERMAN II on a pure entertainment level, but I digress.

I plan on seeing IRON MAN 2 but probably not in theatres.  Why should I spend $10 to see an inferior product?  Riddle me that.  Nobody is saying it's as good as the first let alone better.  So fuck you Hollywood, I'll give my hard-earned dollars to Netflix or Redbox.  I will say one thing about the movie:  looks like they picked a really lousy villain in Mickey Rourke.  He looks like an insane bum in it.  Wtf?  They should've had Tony go up against someone cool like Moon Knight.  I know, Moon Knight is a "good guy".  But so what?  All superheros don't need to get along.  And Moon Knight is fucking rad.

Rating not having seen it yet:  6/10
Best reason to see it:  Well, it's fucking Iron Man, man!  One of my fave superheroes.
Best reason not to see it:  No fucking Terrence Howard and Iron Man apparently fights a bum.  Yay.
How I rate the 2008 original:  9.1/10

Okay, onto..........ROBIN HOOD: THE ONE WITHOUT KEVIN COSTNER (Chinese bootleg title).

Nope, haven't seen that one either.  Looked good in preview form (even though nobody was dying to see another Robin Hood movie) but apparently it sucks from reliable sources.  I guess that doesn't surprise me given that Ridley Scott, who directed it, has a very spotty career overall.  For every awesome movie he's done (ALIEN), he's turned out a turd (G.I. JANE).  Russell Crowe can be a bad-ass but he can also be a complete douche.  I'm guessing he's douche-y in this one.  The biggest problem I have with this movie, other than not having seen it yet, is that it looks like a complete re-hash of GLADIATOR (which ruled) which of course is totally pointless.  I mean, the tone, the look, um, the damn leading actor...all identical!  What's the point?  Watch GLADIATOR for a tenth time and save yourself some money.  Ridley, it's time to do another ALIEN film.  Cut this shit out...

Rating not having seen it yet:  7.5/10
Best reason to see it:  Some cool battle scenes a la GLADIATOR and no Kevin Costner.
Best reason not to see it:  Russell Crowe and his sub-woofer-like low-frequency mumbling (kinda like Harrison Ford the last twenty years...wtf is that guy saying???).
How I rated the 1991 version in 1991:  8/10
How I rate the 1991 version now:  4/10