Click here.
This article captures the current Gordon Gekko "greed is not only good, it's FUCKING GOOD!!!" bullshit culture that permeates Wall Street if not all of Western banking in general. This philosophy is so nefarious and dangerous to the very well-being of Western society, it needs to be irradiated like a tumor. Trouble is, the very people that are supposed to police it (Government) and criticize it (the Media) are in bed with the disease. It's not as if we haven't been warned: "The love of money is the root of all evil." -- God.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Stupid Rant: Arizona Tries To Secure Its Border And Everyone Freaks Out. WTF.
Mexico issues a travel alert for Ariz.
You serious? You must be fucking with me. Are you fucking with me? No, you're not? You're serious. Arizona finally cracks down on illegal immigration (duh) and Mexico issues a fucking travel alert. Hey, Mexico. FUCK. YOU.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Stupid Lists: TOP TWENTY MODERN GUITARISTS
So, yeah, I play guitar. Or at least try to. I've been trying for about 24 years now and it kinda sounds like I've been playing for maybe half that time. Maybe a quarter. Anyway, I try and I enjoy it. And, as usual, I have strong opinions about guitar players. So, you get another dumb list. I'm going to limit this list to modern players (say, 1980 or "newer") and it's definitely biased toward metal players if only because metal fucking rules and, well, metal players are usually the best technically. Or at least the biggest show-offs. Same thing. Oh, and the list only includes players you've heard of. I mean, I'm sure there are many obscure guys out there that rule. But they are obscure and nobody cares about them. So, here's the list, which is kind of in order (sort of)...
1. Yngwie J. Malmsteen (Rising Force, eponymous, Alcatraz, Steeler)
Yngwie takes the top spot if only because I'm kinda partial to both speed and the emotive aspects of guitar playing and Yngwie combines both probably better than anyone I can think of. Yeah, he gets way out of control sometimes and the line between the "technical" and the just plain "wanky" gets blurred often but, man, the guy just plays with such ferocity. And truth be told, only Jimi Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen (maybe) eclipse Yngwie in influence. Everyone wants to play like him but few can. Sure, plenty of guys out there can play balls-to-the-wall fast (Tony MacAlpine, John Petrucci, Paul Gilbert, Vinnie Moore, et al) but few can match Yngwie's ferocity. He just attacks like no one else. He makes his guitar bleed and scream and cry like no one else...at least at these velocities. Plus, he did the 360 guitar swing cooler than anyone else!
Must own representative album: MARCHING OUT (1985)
Best representative track: "I'll See The Light Tonight" from MARCHING OUT
2. Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot, Ozzy)
God rest his soul, Randy was The Next Big Thing after Eddie back in the day. His body of work is limited but with his two proper albums for Ozzy he firmly established himself the prototype player for the future melding classical chops with ten-ton metal riffery. Hell, the guy owns what I feel is the greatest riff ever written in the intro to "Crazy Train". He also wrote two of the greatest solos of all time: "Crazy Train" again and "Goodbye To Romance". His solos combined everything that had been learned by guitarists up until that time: classical scales, finger-tapping, blues phrases, etc. And he made it sound so easy and melodic. I really can't imagine where he would have taken metal playing if he had lived longer. Rumor is that he was probably leaving Ozzy and possibly walking away from the band thing altogether such was his love for the pure joy of playing and learning. Talent of this magnitude, however, would have endured somehow in recorded format. And the mind boggles at what he would have shared with us all had tragedy not interfered. I grant that much of the rating stems from the promise that Randy held. But it was totally obvious that the promise would have been made good had he lived. A legend cut short makes for the greatest legends of all, no?
Must own album: BLIZZARD OF OZZ (1980)
Best representative track: "Crazy Train" from BLIZZARD OF OZ
3. Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen)
For some reason I'm just not excited about Ed anymore but I still recognize him as the amazing originator and talent that he is. Ed is what I cut my teeth on playing wise. Ed introduced me to heavy metal in general. Had you asked me back in 1989 or so, he would have been #1 for sure. I rarely listen to Van Halen anymore but I marvel at what Ed did, esp. the mind-blowing debut back in 1978. In many ways, Ed has never topped that and, frankly, it's hard to imagine him ever being able to top it. With "Eruption" he threw down the gauntlet and usurped the title of King of Rock Guitar from Jimi Hendrix. No question about it. It's still widely considered the greatest guitar solo of all time and I won't argue against it. But, still, his playing no longer excites me emotionally. But, damn...Eddie Van Halen. 'nuff said.
Must own album: VAN HALEN (1978)
Best representative track: "Eruption" from VAN HALEN
4. James Hetfield (Metallica)
Kirk gets all the attention but for my money James is the one with all the talent. They don't call him King James for nothing (sorry, LeBron). Nobody but nobody has produced the sheer number and quality of metal riffs as James. The sickest, baddest, blackest riffs ever written have come from the fingertips of King James. From "Fight Fire With Fire" to "Master Of Puppets" to "Eye of the Beholder", James re-wrote the rules to metal riffing. Sure, the quality has fallen considerably since, arguably, "The Black Album", but even into the mid-90's James was producing some deadly cool riffs that will stand the test of time. And what is most overlooked are his soloing abilities which are overshadowed by the (annoying) pyrotechnics of Kirk Hammett. James provided some amazingly melodic solos (see "Master of Puppets" and "Orion") early on but for whatever reason left the chores to Kirk by the time "The Black Album" was conceived. I suspect James can still kill Kirk at will but, well, has to give Kirk something to do.
Must own album: ...AND JUSTICE FOR ALL (1988)
Best representative track: "Master of Puppets" from MASTER OF PUPPETS
5. David Gilmour (Pink Floyd, solo)
Nobody can make a Fender Strat' weep like David. Sorry, not even Clapton. Gilmour is probably my fave "feel" player on this list. His playing is just so emotive and expressive. He is the source of the melancholy that permeates the best of Floyd's music. Few musicians can make three or four notes say so much.
Must own album: THE WALL (1979)
Best representative track: "Comfortably Numb" from THE WALL
6. Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits, solo)
My guitar brain tells me that Mark Knopfler belongs on top here. He just blows me away as a player. The man can do it all: rhythm, lead, texturing, compositionally, mood, et. al. Plus, that tone. Nobody else can make the guitar sound so pristine and elegant yet also so fucking badass when needed ("Money For Nothing"). BROTHERS IN ARMS may just be my favorite guitar album of all time. Let that sink in. And of course the man can play just about every style out there from blues to acoustic country/folk to rock and everything in between. Nobody has ever made a clean tone sound so sick as Mark did with the solo on "Sultans of Swing". One of the five or so classic solos of all time regardless of genre.
Must own album: BROTHERS IN ARMS (1985)
Best representative track: "Sultans of Swing" from DIRE STRAITS (1978)
7. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
Ahh, Dave. Gotta love him. Through the fire more than once and always comes out on top, or close to it. It's hard to imagine that once upon a time Dave was actually a member of Metallica. In hindisght, it's obvious that all these egos could never co-exist peacefully. Dave doesn't play second fiddle to anyone and neither does James & Lars, Inc. Well, the world benefited ultimately with two great bands producing many great albums. Like James, Dave is equally adept at riffing and soloing making him, arguably, the most versatile guitarist in mainstream metal today. Dave's also enjoying a creative re-birth that Metallica, sadly, cannot claim so maybe Dave is getting the last laugh.
Must own album: COUNTDOWN TO EXTINCTION (1992)
Best representative track: "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due" from RUST IN PEACE (1990)
8. Andy Summers (The Police)
Andy demonstrates just how important legacy is to this list. Summers hasn't done much (to my knowledge) of note in a long time but his work with The Police is tremendous. Now I should mention that my favorite drummer of all time is Stuart Copeland, who very much has mirroed Andy's career since The Police (under the radar if not necessarily idle). So anyone playing with Copeland has got to be able to hold his own. Or maybe it's a case of Copeland's rhythmic brilliance that makes everyone excel. Whatever. If Andy Summers were a painter, he'd be an Impressionist, for the subtlety of the individual pieces makes for a compelling whole.
Must own album: SYNCHRONICITY (1983)
Best representative track: "Wrapped Around Your Finger" from SYNCHRONICITY
9. Chris DeGarmo (Queensryche)
And now we come to some dark horses. What, all my pics have to be household names? Fuhgedaboutit. DeGarmo is one half of the dynamic duo (along with Michael Wilton) that made Queensryche so formidable guitar-wise in their prime (read: 1986 to 1994). I'm singleing out Chris here cuz there's every reason to believe Chris was the driving force creatively for not only this duo but the band as well. Mr. Wilton and the band haven't produced a single worthy album since Chris' departure after their confounding and dull '97 effort, HEAR IN THE NOW FRONTIER (ahh, so clever). Really, this should have been the swan song for the band. Anyway....back to Chris. In the span of three albums, he and Wilton cement themselves as one of the very best duos in rock, channeling the very best inspirations from the Murray/Smith and Tipton/Downing teams in Maiden and Priest, respectively. OPERATION: MINDCRIME might just be my fave heavy guitar album of all. And DeGarmo's name is all over that thing. Note to the remaining members of Queensryche: STOP. Seriously.
Must own album: OPERATION: MINDCRIME (1988)
Best representative track: "Walk In The Shadows" from RAGE FOR ORDER (1986)
10. Joe Satriani
I'm not real excited about this pick but I grant that everyone else is in love with Satriani and even I am smart enough to know he's pretty fucking good on the gee-tar. I just don't really dig instrumental albums. They are boring. I need songs. Sorry. But, yeah, Satch is a monster and probably considered "the" shred guitarist of the last twenty years or so. Plus, he's got that mystique of teaching guys like Kirk Hammett so I guess he was just born able to play. Came right out of the ol' love canal and asked for an Ibanez. Something like that.
Must own album: None of them for me but I guess SURFING WITH THE ALIEN (1987) by most accounts.
Best representative track: "Always With You, Always With Me" from SURFING WITH THE ALIEN
11. Dave Murray (Iron Maiden)
Past #10 this list gets a little random. Dave Murray could easily be #19 and Adrian Smith #11. You get the idea. Well, Murray is my personal favorite stylistically, although Adrian wrote some of my fave Maiden licks. They are sides of a coin and compliment each other brilliantly. Really, Maiden stands as the preeminent metal band of all times so how can these dudes not be on the list? Iron Fucking Maiden, mate.
Must own album: BRAVE NEW WORLD (2000)
Best representative track: "Hallowed Be Thy Name" from THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST (1982)
12. George Lynch (Dokken, Lynch Mob)
George "Mr. Scary" Lynch. He's probably the best example of hair metal with talent there is. If you had to pick one guitar player to front your hair band, this is your guy. After Yngwie, can't think of anyone that attacks the frets quite like George. Word is George actually invented the finger tapping thing.
Must own album: UNDER LOCK AND KEY (1985)
Best representative track: "Mr. Scary" from BACK FOR THE ATTACK (1987)
13. Steve Vai (Whitesnake, David Lee Roth, solo)
Fucking Steve Vai. Okay, personally, I think he's a wanker. I mean, yeah, he shreds. Can play circles around 99.9% of the guitar population. But he's still an annoying wanker. Too much histrionics. Too much goofiness. Occasionally, he gets it right. But too rarely. It's like he's on speed all the time. Get the man some Ritalin. Anyway, yeah, he's awesome. But he's still a dork.
Must own album: David Lee Roth's SKYSCRAPER (1988)
Best representative track: "The Duel from Crossroads" or whatever it's called. If the Devil does have a guitarist, chances are it really is Steve Vai.
14. Alex Lifeson (Rush)
Too many great riffs and classic rock songs to exclude this guy. Like Andy Summers, he does simple stuff that sounds not so simple because, well, it's so not that easy! Make sense? Good. Really good textural player too. I mean, the dude has to keep up with Neil "Never Heard A Fill I Didn't Like" Peart. You have to be good to be in Rush, period. Off topic a bit, I always thought he looked like a geeky cyclist or something. Or a college student.
Must own album: MOVING PICTURES (1982)
Best representative track: "Tom Sawyer" from MOVING PICTURES
15. Peter Koppes (The Church)
This is where the list becomes highly subjective. Let me give you some perspective on this pick: The Church is my favorite band of all time. Peter Koppes and Marty Willson-Piper are the duo that paint the other-wordly, shimmering, panoramic guitar sonics that the band is known (unknown) for. Peter provides more of the atmospherics while Willson-Piper provides the more immediate vibes. Together, they create truly unique vistas of sound that sings to the soul. And the catalog now stands at like 20+ studio albums. Wow.
Must own album: PRIEST=AURA (1992)
Best representative track: "Destination" from STARFISH (1988)
16. Vito Bratta (White Lion)
After Eddie and Yngwie, I would say Vito made one of the biggest splashes in rock guitar in the 80's. He took finger-tapping to the next level by incorporating it into many of his solos, which are flat-out awesome. He was the virtuoso buried in the Aquanet that is White Lion in general. Word is, he gave up playing a long time ago. Sad cuz the guy was awesome.
Must own album: PRIDE (1987)
Best representative track: "Little Fighter" from BIG GAME (1989)
17. Dave Matthews (Dave Matthews Band)
I'm not really an avid DMB fan but I like some of their songs and, despite his whiney voice, the guy can write a tune and flat-out play the friggin' acoustic. Philosophically, I'm really not on board the train but, again, I give credit where it's due and Dave has certainly brought a level of virtuosity to the mainstream. I'd like to see him take that Taylor acoustic and John Mayer over the head with it though. What a pussy.
Must own album: Not sure.
Best representative track: I like "Grey Street" quite a bit.
18. Ty Tabor (King's X)
Ty rules. Horribly thin production on the first few albums doesn't mask his incredible skill. But then, bam, amazing production values starting with DOGMAN really start to reveal just how awesome Ty is. Too bad the band never gets the cred' it deserves. Recent albums are iffy also.
Must own album: DOGMAN (1994)
Best representative track: "A Box" from EAR CANDY (1996)
19. Adrian Smith (Iron Maiden)
Adrian wrote "Wasted Years". Second best riff ever. Nuff said.
Must own album: SEVENTH SON OF A SEVENTH SON (1988)
Best representative track: "Wasted Years" from SOMEWHERE IN TMIE (1986)
20. Marty Willson-Piper (The Church)
I could write endlessly about how important The Church's music is to me. But it would bore both you and me. Marty plays with so much emotion. He's all feel and personality. Peter Koppes writes the sentences and Marty puts in the punctuation. Together, poetry.
Must own album: AFTER EVERYTHING, NOW THIS (2002)
Best representative track: "Metropolis" from GOLD AFTERNOON FIX (1990)
1. Yngwie J. Malmsteen (Rising Force, eponymous, Alcatraz, Steeler)
Yngwie takes the top spot if only because I'm kinda partial to both speed and the emotive aspects of guitar playing and Yngwie combines both probably better than anyone I can think of. Yeah, he gets way out of control sometimes and the line between the "technical" and the just plain "wanky" gets blurred often but, man, the guy just plays with such ferocity. And truth be told, only Jimi Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen (maybe) eclipse Yngwie in influence. Everyone wants to play like him but few can. Sure, plenty of guys out there can play balls-to-the-wall fast (Tony MacAlpine, John Petrucci, Paul Gilbert, Vinnie Moore, et al) but few can match Yngwie's ferocity. He just attacks like no one else. He makes his guitar bleed and scream and cry like no one else...at least at these velocities. Plus, he did the 360 guitar swing cooler than anyone else!
Must own representative album: MARCHING OUT (1985)
Best representative track: "I'll See The Light Tonight" from MARCHING OUT
2. Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot, Ozzy)
God rest his soul, Randy was The Next Big Thing after Eddie back in the day. His body of work is limited but with his two proper albums for Ozzy he firmly established himself the prototype player for the future melding classical chops with ten-ton metal riffery. Hell, the guy owns what I feel is the greatest riff ever written in the intro to "Crazy Train". He also wrote two of the greatest solos of all time: "Crazy Train" again and "Goodbye To Romance". His solos combined everything that had been learned by guitarists up until that time: classical scales, finger-tapping, blues phrases, etc. And he made it sound so easy and melodic. I really can't imagine where he would have taken metal playing if he had lived longer. Rumor is that he was probably leaving Ozzy and possibly walking away from the band thing altogether such was his love for the pure joy of playing and learning. Talent of this magnitude, however, would have endured somehow in recorded format. And the mind boggles at what he would have shared with us all had tragedy not interfered. I grant that much of the rating stems from the promise that Randy held. But it was totally obvious that the promise would have been made good had he lived. A legend cut short makes for the greatest legends of all, no?
Must own album: BLIZZARD OF OZZ (1980)
Best representative track: "Crazy Train" from BLIZZARD OF OZ
3. Eddie Van Halen (Van Halen)
For some reason I'm just not excited about Ed anymore but I still recognize him as the amazing originator and talent that he is. Ed is what I cut my teeth on playing wise. Ed introduced me to heavy metal in general. Had you asked me back in 1989 or so, he would have been #1 for sure. I rarely listen to Van Halen anymore but I marvel at what Ed did, esp. the mind-blowing debut back in 1978. In many ways, Ed has never topped that and, frankly, it's hard to imagine him ever being able to top it. With "Eruption" he threw down the gauntlet and usurped the title of King of Rock Guitar from Jimi Hendrix. No question about it. It's still widely considered the greatest guitar solo of all time and I won't argue against it. But, still, his playing no longer excites me emotionally. But, damn...Eddie Van Halen. 'nuff said.
Must own album: VAN HALEN (1978)
Best representative track: "Eruption" from VAN HALEN
4. James Hetfield (Metallica)
Kirk gets all the attention but for my money James is the one with all the talent. They don't call him King James for nothing (sorry, LeBron). Nobody but nobody has produced the sheer number and quality of metal riffs as James. The sickest, baddest, blackest riffs ever written have come from the fingertips of King James. From "Fight Fire With Fire" to "Master Of Puppets" to "Eye of the Beholder", James re-wrote the rules to metal riffing. Sure, the quality has fallen considerably since, arguably, "The Black Album", but even into the mid-90's James was producing some deadly cool riffs that will stand the test of time. And what is most overlooked are his soloing abilities which are overshadowed by the (annoying) pyrotechnics of Kirk Hammett. James provided some amazingly melodic solos (see "Master of Puppets" and "Orion") early on but for whatever reason left the chores to Kirk by the time "The Black Album" was conceived. I suspect James can still kill Kirk at will but, well, has to give Kirk something to do.
Must own album: ...AND JUSTICE FOR ALL (1988)
Best representative track: "Master of Puppets" from MASTER OF PUPPETS
5. David Gilmour (Pink Floyd, solo)
Nobody can make a Fender Strat' weep like David. Sorry, not even Clapton. Gilmour is probably my fave "feel" player on this list. His playing is just so emotive and expressive. He is the source of the melancholy that permeates the best of Floyd's music. Few musicians can make three or four notes say so much.
Must own album: THE WALL (1979)
Best representative track: "Comfortably Numb" from THE WALL
6. Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits, solo)
My guitar brain tells me that Mark Knopfler belongs on top here. He just blows me away as a player. The man can do it all: rhythm, lead, texturing, compositionally, mood, et. al. Plus, that tone. Nobody else can make the guitar sound so pristine and elegant yet also so fucking badass when needed ("Money For Nothing"). BROTHERS IN ARMS may just be my favorite guitar album of all time. Let that sink in. And of course the man can play just about every style out there from blues to acoustic country/folk to rock and everything in between. Nobody has ever made a clean tone sound so sick as Mark did with the solo on "Sultans of Swing". One of the five or so classic solos of all time regardless of genre.
Must own album: BROTHERS IN ARMS (1985)
Best representative track: "Sultans of Swing" from DIRE STRAITS (1978)
7. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)
Ahh, Dave. Gotta love him. Through the fire more than once and always comes out on top, or close to it. It's hard to imagine that once upon a time Dave was actually a member of Metallica. In hindisght, it's obvious that all these egos could never co-exist peacefully. Dave doesn't play second fiddle to anyone and neither does James & Lars, Inc. Well, the world benefited ultimately with two great bands producing many great albums. Like James, Dave is equally adept at riffing and soloing making him, arguably, the most versatile guitarist in mainstream metal today. Dave's also enjoying a creative re-birth that Metallica, sadly, cannot claim so maybe Dave is getting the last laugh.
Must own album: COUNTDOWN TO EXTINCTION (1992)
Best representative track: "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due" from RUST IN PEACE (1990)
8. Andy Summers (The Police)
Andy demonstrates just how important legacy is to this list. Summers hasn't done much (to my knowledge) of note in a long time but his work with The Police is tremendous. Now I should mention that my favorite drummer of all time is Stuart Copeland, who very much has mirroed Andy's career since The Police (under the radar if not necessarily idle). So anyone playing with Copeland has got to be able to hold his own. Or maybe it's a case of Copeland's rhythmic brilliance that makes everyone excel. Whatever. If Andy Summers were a painter, he'd be an Impressionist, for the subtlety of the individual pieces makes for a compelling whole.
Must own album: SYNCHRONICITY (1983)
Best representative track: "Wrapped Around Your Finger" from SYNCHRONICITY
9. Chris DeGarmo (Queensryche)
And now we come to some dark horses. What, all my pics have to be household names? Fuhgedaboutit. DeGarmo is one half of the dynamic duo (along with Michael Wilton) that made Queensryche so formidable guitar-wise in their prime (read: 1986 to 1994). I'm singleing out Chris here cuz there's every reason to believe Chris was the driving force creatively for not only this duo but the band as well. Mr. Wilton and the band haven't produced a single worthy album since Chris' departure after their confounding and dull '97 effort, HEAR IN THE NOW FRONTIER (ahh, so clever). Really, this should have been the swan song for the band. Anyway....back to Chris. In the span of three albums, he and Wilton cement themselves as one of the very best duos in rock, channeling the very best inspirations from the Murray/Smith and Tipton/Downing teams in Maiden and Priest, respectively. OPERATION: MINDCRIME might just be my fave heavy guitar album of all. And DeGarmo's name is all over that thing. Note to the remaining members of Queensryche: STOP. Seriously.
Must own album: OPERATION: MINDCRIME (1988)
Best representative track: "Walk In The Shadows" from RAGE FOR ORDER (1986)
10. Joe Satriani
I'm not real excited about this pick but I grant that everyone else is in love with Satriani and even I am smart enough to know he's pretty fucking good on the gee-tar. I just don't really dig instrumental albums. They are boring. I need songs. Sorry. But, yeah, Satch is a monster and probably considered "the" shred guitarist of the last twenty years or so. Plus, he's got that mystique of teaching guys like Kirk Hammett so I guess he was just born able to play. Came right out of the ol' love canal and asked for an Ibanez. Something like that.
Must own album: None of them for me but I guess SURFING WITH THE ALIEN (1987) by most accounts.
Best representative track: "Always With You, Always With Me" from SURFING WITH THE ALIEN
11. Dave Murray (Iron Maiden)
Past #10 this list gets a little random. Dave Murray could easily be #19 and Adrian Smith #11. You get the idea. Well, Murray is my personal favorite stylistically, although Adrian wrote some of my fave Maiden licks. They are sides of a coin and compliment each other brilliantly. Really, Maiden stands as the preeminent metal band of all times so how can these dudes not be on the list? Iron Fucking Maiden, mate.
Must own album: BRAVE NEW WORLD (2000)
Best representative track: "Hallowed Be Thy Name" from THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST (1982)
12. George Lynch (Dokken, Lynch Mob)
George "Mr. Scary" Lynch. He's probably the best example of hair metal with talent there is. If you had to pick one guitar player to front your hair band, this is your guy. After Yngwie, can't think of anyone that attacks the frets quite like George. Word is George actually invented the finger tapping thing.
Must own album: UNDER LOCK AND KEY (1985)
Best representative track: "Mr. Scary" from BACK FOR THE ATTACK (1987)
13. Steve Vai (Whitesnake, David Lee Roth, solo)
Fucking Steve Vai. Okay, personally, I think he's a wanker. I mean, yeah, he shreds. Can play circles around 99.9% of the guitar population. But he's still an annoying wanker. Too much histrionics. Too much goofiness. Occasionally, he gets it right. But too rarely. It's like he's on speed all the time. Get the man some Ritalin. Anyway, yeah, he's awesome. But he's still a dork.
Must own album: David Lee Roth's SKYSCRAPER (1988)
Best representative track: "The Duel from Crossroads" or whatever it's called. If the Devil does have a guitarist, chances are it really is Steve Vai.
14. Alex Lifeson (Rush)
Too many great riffs and classic rock songs to exclude this guy. Like Andy Summers, he does simple stuff that sounds not so simple because, well, it's so not that easy! Make sense? Good. Really good textural player too. I mean, the dude has to keep up with Neil "Never Heard A Fill I Didn't Like" Peart. You have to be good to be in Rush, period. Off topic a bit, I always thought he looked like a geeky cyclist or something. Or a college student.
Must own album: MOVING PICTURES (1982)
Best representative track: "Tom Sawyer" from MOVING PICTURES
15. Peter Koppes (The Church)
This is where the list becomes highly subjective. Let me give you some perspective on this pick: The Church is my favorite band of all time. Peter Koppes and Marty Willson-Piper are the duo that paint the other-wordly, shimmering, panoramic guitar sonics that the band is known (unknown) for. Peter provides more of the atmospherics while Willson-Piper provides the more immediate vibes. Together, they create truly unique vistas of sound that sings to the soul. And the catalog now stands at like 20+ studio albums. Wow.
Must own album: PRIEST=AURA (1992)
Best representative track: "Destination" from STARFISH (1988)
16. Vito Bratta (White Lion)
After Eddie and Yngwie, I would say Vito made one of the biggest splashes in rock guitar in the 80's. He took finger-tapping to the next level by incorporating it into many of his solos, which are flat-out awesome. He was the virtuoso buried in the Aquanet that is White Lion in general. Word is, he gave up playing a long time ago. Sad cuz the guy was awesome.
Must own album: PRIDE (1987)
Best representative track: "Little Fighter" from BIG GAME (1989)
17. Dave Matthews (Dave Matthews Band)
I'm not really an avid DMB fan but I like some of their songs and, despite his whiney voice, the guy can write a tune and flat-out play the friggin' acoustic. Philosophically, I'm really not on board the train but, again, I give credit where it's due and Dave has certainly brought a level of virtuosity to the mainstream. I'd like to see him take that Taylor acoustic and John Mayer over the head with it though. What a pussy.
Must own album: Not sure.
Best representative track: I like "Grey Street" quite a bit.
18. Ty Tabor (King's X)
Ty rules. Horribly thin production on the first few albums doesn't mask his incredible skill. But then, bam, amazing production values starting with DOGMAN really start to reveal just how awesome Ty is. Too bad the band never gets the cred' it deserves. Recent albums are iffy also.
Must own album: DOGMAN (1994)
Best representative track: "A Box" from EAR CANDY (1996)
19. Adrian Smith (Iron Maiden)
Adrian wrote "Wasted Years". Second best riff ever. Nuff said.
Must own album: SEVENTH SON OF A SEVENTH SON (1988)
Best representative track: "Wasted Years" from SOMEWHERE IN TMIE (1986)
20. Marty Willson-Piper (The Church)
I could write endlessly about how important The Church's music is to me. But it would bore both you and me. Marty plays with so much emotion. He's all feel and personality. Peter Koppes writes the sentences and Marty puts in the punctuation. Together, poetry.
Must own album: AFTER EVERYTHING, NOW THIS (2002)
Best representative track: "Metropolis" from GOLD AFTERNOON FIX (1990)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Film Review: THE CLASH OF THE TITANS
Didn't think this was gonna be anywhere near as fun as the original, but even with the absence of a totally groovy Harry Hamlin circa 1981, this movie really is an old-fashioned action blast. Yes, there are plenty of SFX but they are rarely over-whelming and actually pretty effective.
Sam Worthington (whoever he is! -- I know the name and I know the face...but can't name a single other movie he's been in) is probably the least compelling member of the team chops-wise, but he does a serviceable job. His hair is nowhere near as grooverrific as Hamlin's but, well, who's is? The supporting cast is pretty dang good. They all sport really good hair and that's important to those of us who are not happy with our midly-receded hairlines and mild-yet-noticeable thinning. And fucking Propecia is up to $82/month! Aww, hell, anyway...
The chicks are hot and the one that plays a goddess (Io-something) is way smokin' and I'm really happy that Sam (Perseus) ended up with her instead of Andromeda, who was way too skinny. When she's chained up waiting for the Krakken (sp?) to take her, and her arms are pulled up and apart, you can totally see boneage where we should be seeing cleevage. Hey Hollywood dumbasses: NOT SEXY. We wanna see cleevage. We wanna see curves. Stop giving us straw-women and skeletons for fucks' sake. Yuck.
Anyway, really fun movie with a sorta de facto coolness merely because of the inclusions of Liam Neeson (awesome) and Ralph (start spelling it Rafe!) Fiennes (and Fines!) in the Zeus/Hades roles. Really the movie is worth seeing simply because of the plethora of ancient Greek women. Ancient Greek women are HOT.
Rating: 7.8/10
Sam Worthington (whoever he is! -- I know the name and I know the face...but can't name a single other movie he's been in) is probably the least compelling member of the team chops-wise, but he does a serviceable job. His hair is nowhere near as grooverrific as Hamlin's but, well, who's is? The supporting cast is pretty dang good. They all sport really good hair and that's important to those of us who are not happy with our midly-receded hairlines and mild-yet-noticeable thinning. And fucking Propecia is up to $82/month! Aww, hell, anyway...
The chicks are hot and the one that plays a goddess (Io-something) is way smokin' and I'm really happy that Sam (Perseus) ended up with her instead of Andromeda, who was way too skinny. When she's chained up waiting for the Krakken (sp?) to take her, and her arms are pulled up and apart, you can totally see boneage where we should be seeing cleevage. Hey Hollywood dumbasses: NOT SEXY. We wanna see cleevage. We wanna see curves. Stop giving us straw-women and skeletons for fucks' sake. Yuck.
Anyway, really fun movie with a sorta de facto coolness merely because of the inclusions of Liam Neeson (awesome) and Ralph (start spelling it Rafe!) Fiennes (and Fines!) in the Zeus/Hades roles. Really the movie is worth seeing simply because of the plethora of ancient Greek women. Ancient Greek women are HOT.
Rating: 7.8/10
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Rant: When Is Enough Enough? In America, Never...
You don't need to look very deep or very far these days in the mainstream "news" let alone the actual sources of real news in the back alleys of the information superhighway to see white-collar and government criminals getting away with murder with nary a slap on the wrist.
From the gold shortage at a Canadian bank to absolutely no one being held liable for the "reallocation" of taxpayer money to AIG in the $182 billion collapse of the "mother-fucking poster child for all that is wrong in America today" insurance giant to the, well, take your pick of scandal after scandal with no one held responsible. What the fuck? Hello? Is this the America that Washington or Lincoln or King Jr. or even Swaggart or Bush Part 1 & Part 2 envisioned? In their blackest of hearts, the answer is no!
How apathetic and lazy is the typical "American Idol"-watching American? How much more corruption will it take to wake him or her up? Or is it simply a function of discomfort? Well, folks, the discomfort is a-coming. So fuck you and your kids and your kids' kids cuz that's exactly what you're bargaining for.
America is dead. It's official. The corpose begins to rot...
From the gold shortage at a Canadian bank to absolutely no one being held liable for the "reallocation" of taxpayer money to AIG in the $182 billion collapse of the "mother-fucking poster child for all that is wrong in America today" insurance giant to the, well, take your pick of scandal after scandal with no one held responsible. What the fuck? Hello? Is this the America that Washington or Lincoln or King Jr. or even Swaggart or Bush Part 1 & Part 2 envisioned? In their blackest of hearts, the answer is no!
How apathetic and lazy is the typical "American Idol"-watching American? How much more corruption will it take to wake him or her up? Or is it simply a function of discomfort? Well, folks, the discomfort is a-coming. So fuck you and your kids and your kids' kids cuz that's exactly what you're bargaining for.
America is dead. It's official. The corpose begins to rot...
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